Day 5 - No Sugar & Cancer Sucks!

I've been sugar free for the past five days and it's amazing how difficult it can be. I had dreams last night that I accidentally ate sugar in several different scenarios. It's the same from when I stopped smoking. I would wake up in a panic that I had smoked, only to realize it was only a dream. I guess it's further confirmation that I was addicted to sugar.

Also for the past five days my jaw has been hurting! I know it's just a coincidence that it's the same five days of giving up sugar, but it's really starting to worry me. I started wearing a bite guard the past two nights to prevent me from grinding my teeth at night, but it doesn't feel better yet. I am going to give it a few more days and then break down and see a dentist or doctor.

I think I am feeling stress from not being able to help my friend diagnosed with cancer. I take pride in being organized and efficient and love to solve problems. This is a problem I can't solve. They can't seem to figure out what the primary source of her cancer is. At first they thought it was ovarian that spread to her liver. Now they are thinking it isn't ovarian, but rather bone cancer that spread. The whole reason they found the cancer is because she was experiencing tremendous pain in her back and leg and went to the doctor to find the source. They scheduled some tests and told her to stop taking all pain relief medication for two days prior to the tests and that caused the pain to get so intense that she went to the emergency room. They did a scan of her and found lesions on her liver. How quickly life can take a turn.

So, I am focused on doing what I can for her. I gave her my recliner I bought after I had surgery last year, so she could get comfortable when not in bed. I'm running errands, calling regularly and praying like crazy. I still feel very helpless. Cancer really sucks!!!!!!!!

Some good news is that I've lost three pounds this week and I know it's just water weight, but at this point, I will take it!

I meditated a couple of times, too. Took a yoga class (in addition to my regular workout schedule of 8 hours per week) and tonight I've scheduled a deep tissue massage, which will hopefully help me to unclench and feel better after the fact. I am clearly carrying a lot of tension in my jaw.

So, I am back on track and that feels good!!

Thank you so much for your comments - they mean the world to me!

Jillian